13 December 2005 - The Fuming Gemsbok
I havent seen a Gemsbok this angry since the Right of Admission Reserved incident of 2005. Clearly infuriated by the lack of adequate service by our esteemed national carrier, the bitter Gemsbok attempts to take on Goliath with nothing more than a couple of index fingers and glass of whine.
If anyone knows about taking on the big boys its me. This is what I do. I write snotty emails to whatever email address I can get my hands on in the hope that someone will read my angry words and shiver in their corporate boots.
As an experienced corporate taker-onner I have learnt various tricks of the trade. Emailing, for one, does not work. You cant see it in the SAA response but "Mr Gemsbok" was copy pasted in a different font onto the email. After typing out a hellishly long email of complaint some public relations skievie sends back a template describing how sorry they are and how their employees are trained by the best to be the best blah blah blah black sheep three bags full. And my personal favourite, they throw in the "please send us your baggage claim number" so you get that warm feeling that they have a crack team of buggage inpectors, trained by the U.S. Navy Seals, who have set up a roster and are now working in shifts to solve the mystery of your missing panties.
Its no use. These fuckers dont care. In my prime I have sqeezed a full refund for a flight out of them. This is possible but when you didnt pay for for your flight in the first place whats the use of your company getting the money back - will that make you feel better?
Another thing about complaining - keep it simple and keep it true. Exaggeration for effect is nothing short of falacy and it cheapens the whole experience to a petty white lie. Anyone can complain, anyone can make shit up and thats why they have these barriers to your complaints. Thats why you sit on the phone for 4 hours listening to the cyclic tunes of Johnny Clegg's Great Heart.
Thats enough for now.