17 October 2005 - I would like my Gemsbok burnt on the outside please.
A beachbum who does not know the rules of the beach is like a Gemsbok with exceptionally large ankles - surprisingly common. You know those guys you see when you're walking down the Clifton 2nd stairs, the bums who set up camp on the landing, clad in dirty white pants and a heavy green knitted jersey? At first glance you see the old man and can only wonder of the many decades he has spent living off the beaches of our land and how on earth he has survived from certain death all these years.
Stop the violins, take back the custard lumps the truth is the oke isn't 82, he is actually 23. He looks old because he just didn't follow the rules. He could have been anything he wanted - a doctor, lawyer, project manager at a large internet service provider but no - he just couldn't follow a couple simple rules that would have prevented this doomed destiny.
I refer to the Rules of the Beach - specifically the section entitled Sun Burn. To most informed beach goers getting burnt to a crisp on purpose is no longer au fait. Intentional Burnage is actually one of the biggest no-no's you can do. I must just point out that tanning is a different story, but the calculated harm caused to your own body as a result of not lubing up with sunscreen before 3pm after 09/10 outside of the sea on a non-windy non-overcast day is just not right.
Unfortunately there are many Gemsboks that punish themselves this way and being an endangered species they just don't repect the rules. Honestly, its actually upsetting sometimes. How can one not know that MIST is one of the most dangerous siutaions you can get burnt in?
Some animals are just destined to have a orangy wrinkled leather face.