08 November 2005 - TGIF: The Gemsbok is F-cked.
It was somewhere between Jack 12 or 14 when things started going pair shaped. The body started getting warmer, blood started pumping, voice volume increased and it became significantly easier to jump up and down. Thankfully last week's "Round System" debacle was sorted out by an astonishly efficient pre-drinks at the Casa Thirsty Gemsbok. This put a substantial ease on the pocket and most certainly got the ball moving albeit in a direction unknown.
Staring at the ceiling of the Duke-mobile two things kept running through my mind: "La la la la la" and "Fuck these roads are bumpy". After a careful and retrospective analysis of these two enigmatic thoughts it was clear that the latter posed a comment to the city we live in, the city of Cape Town. Why are the roads so bloody uneven? For every meter for the whole way from the club to my house to Duke's place to the Gemsbok's place back to Duke's place and finally to my place I reckon my head must have bobbed up and down 85 million times give or take.
At first I thought it was a conspiracy for exactly 7 years ago to the month was the last time the General worshipped the Porcelain God in a momentary unavoidable lapse of consciousness. Was His Dukeness working with the Dark Forces of Solly to try upset the stomach of the brave General and induce the gravity defying act of regurgitation?
Because of my weakened state I couldn't tell if it was the uneven roads or if Duke took me on an extreme off-road excursion to fulfil his evil plot. I found it strange the following day that Duke battled to explain this:
After being shown supporting documentation verifying the truth of his recent unfortunate accident I concluded that the City of Cape Town was to blame for the painfully bumpy ride around the City Bowl this past Sunday morning. I therefore plee to any Municipal Official who may read this to sort out the rutted roads of Cape Town. If alcohol is the major cause of intoxication then bumpy roads are the the major cause of puking.
Let it be repeated that November '98 still stands thanks to a strong mind and dashingly good looks. Hopefully the creviced streets of this foreign city will one day reach the smoothness of a certain coastal city well East of here.